"Not a great plan."

I hear the voice of Robert Downey Jr.’s Tony Stark from The Avengers (2012) playing on repeat in my mind: “Not a great plan.” Stark is disparaging all the machinations that brought Tom Hiddleston’s Loki to that point of the film when his defeat at the hands of the Avengers he helped assemble is imminent but, in his mind, not assured.

This has infected my brain for a few reasons: 1) my son has been asking me every day to play LEGO The Avengers or LEGO Marvel Super Heroes with him, and the former basically has the whole movie, complete with the character dialogue, in the the game; 2) when I visited with my in-laws over the weekend, they were watching The Avengers (2012) with my son, so I saw the movie again recently; and 3) I keep falling short of my goals and plans, so Tony Stark’s taunt rings true.

Months ago I talked about my many false starts with blogging and writing regularly. I talked about making a fresh start and a new effort here… before summarily going dark again. I keep hoping to make it back here and try again, but then I don’t. Now, here I am again, more than a month after I thought I’d be writing some version of this post, and I’m trying to convince myself that today won’t be like yesterday.

After all, it is that time of year. Year-end wrap-ups are appearing in our apps and inboxes, New Year’s resolutions are formulating in people’s minds, and days are growing shorter as winter approaches. I’m also on the cusp of my 39th birthday, yet another reason for increased self-reflection.

I started this year with several goals but only accomplished my reading goal. I intended to send more letters to friends and family but haven’t dropped anything in the mailbox since the spring. I wanted to finish a first draft, but I haven’t even finished a chapter. I wanted to organize my life and finances, but my mind is in even greater disarray. I have tried making adjustments as the year progressed, but the situation has not improved. “Not a great plan” indeed.

“Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.”

In addition to that Iron Man quote, I have had Mike Tyson on the brain. No, I didn’t waste my time watching his Netflix bout with Jake Paul, though I certainly heard enough about it. Instead, I have been thinking about his rendition of the Helmut van Moltke’s “No plan survives first contact with the enemy.” I have encountered plenty of enemies to my productivity this year, but I am not giving up. I’m going to keep working on a new approach until I find one that works.

Right now, I can post this brief dispatch and check the box, assuring myself that I’m making strides. I suppose that fiction will have to do until my actual fiction gets here.